what time is it?

as i expand my understanding of how i want to be with time, i've gone back to reincorporate the ideas of a wonderful and provocative book that i encourage you all to take a look at..lenedra carroll's ( the singer/songwriter jewel's mom) , the architecture of all abundance. in it she reminds me of timing, the right timing of things. and in particular she introduces a metaphor that my heart really grabbed hold of: the wave, the incoming, the outgoing and especially the pause between.

in my monthly healing session with anne, she offered up the word "reflection" not only like looking in the mirror but as in that space to see, to mull, to be with what is unfolding..in the past , and yes i do mean that i am deliberately placing this behavior behind me, shutting the book on this particular chapter, i'd not trust myself or the universe enough to accept the pause..but now...it's important for me to be brave enough to meet whatever emerges in this reflective time, this time in between. in between for example, digesting the courses i've just taken and what my actual actions will be to put in place all the juciy and amazing tips and info. that's come my way.

somehow thru this work i've been doing, offering up a sincere desire to trust myself, to trust that yes i can have a life i want to live, a life i'm thrilled to live and that the more i gently move in that direction in thought, belief and action the more this is proven true. as a woman thinketh...!!

sooo there is some drawing that wants to be done in this time; flowers, lots of flowers and women's faces and bodies, maybe some self -potraits.. ...and you know what? i'm not setting an intention about any of it..except to enjoy the pause....when its time for the tide to change, i have a feeling i will sense it and open to the next breath, the next movement.

i hope u'll check out lenedra's book if abundance, time, money, career, your life's calling, your spiritual unfolding, and adventure in the world at large speak to you..

until next time..xx

time redux

sometimes it's a simple as a nice cup of earl grey at a good friend's house, step out of time as u know it

or taking a few deep breaths in the backyard meditation garden

or laughing at the kooky creations we make, like the old crone of the garden

nature is one of my fav "outta time" reset buttons

muse stones and a sweet birdbath i made last year give me pause

sunshine and a sense of humor..and cruzing my absolute fav north shore ocean side digs, newburyport

s m i l e...it too breaks the frenetic mind buz

lacking time seems to be something i've been at odds with most of my life and especially since i've committed to going the route of flying my own biz. i'm sorting out what i think and feel about time and how i'm experimenting with approaching it differently. i 've had lots of food for thought now that i'm finishing the e-courses/tele-classes i began a month -ish ago: kelly rae robert's -flying lessons and georgia lee london's- abundance boot camp.

both have offered how to's on perceiving time, what we do with it, how we orient our days to make the most of it. ... well, last nite i felt a shift settle over me listening to georgia describe working from the source place and letting that be the compass... this shift was a welcome one, one that i've wanted for a very long time. it wasn't so much a light bulb popping aha moment as much as a deep sigh., like when u first drive up to your home after having been away for a long time. i sense this new relationship with time that's getting reinforced thru these classes is helping me feel more at home within myself and to be bold enough to enter into a flow with how i live my days..one that floats me downstream from what seems prevalent around me. away from frenetic and scattered and toward centered focus and passion.

you know this whipped up pace we as women, mammas, artists, healers, shuttlers, clean-er-upppers......think we HAVE to keep up or IT won't get done??? and when we're working our magic to make our dream machine soar..well that's a whole other wheel to spin...right??

and on top of the current crush craze we've signed on for there's the family training to consider too:

being raised by a single mom who struggled alot and worked and toiled alot and had a job she didn't love set me up as a child with some pretty hefty impressions of what i did and didn't want when my "time" came to enter the adult world. i didn't want to work for someone else and i didn't want to struggle, to be shriveled by my career and i didn't want to toil to become financially secure. so for years i've battled with what i was raised with and what culture tells us we must do. I've had an aversion to really going for my dreams because I didn't want to be burnt to a crisp and wither on my own vine.

but i was really seeing only half the picture.

do u ever notice how when you really want to "get" something really make it urs , the universe steps in and surrounds you with lots of support to take you there? i call it a chapter of learning and right now the chapter is "it's up to you- let's have a time redux."

sooo..all around me are little reminders and way pointers to seal in the whole idea of how it could be for me instead of how i've feared it would HAVE to be:

rice freeman-zachary 's book, creative time and space;making room for making art (i grabbed it when when met ..i thought i bought it to support her artistic career...it wasn't something that i felt a big rush to have and yet....clever universe).. has these juicy nuggets from various artists interviewed:

"I tend to work between 8-12hr days a day. Its hard for me to define a 'work day' cuz i mix alot of photography and internet time which are very recreational. even though, technically, i am working i enjoy these activities so much that it really doesn't seem like it should count as 'work hours'. my creativity doesn't begin and end in the studio. i try hard to infuse all aspects of my life with the same energy that goes into designing clothes and accessories."

"everything i do revolves around being an artist. i do what i love and have passion for it, so it doesn't feel like work."

if you re-think your concept of time, you'll begin to see a spacious quality to your days that you would have sworn wasn't there yesterday. if you can imbue everything you do -from the client meetings to carpooling-with creativity, you'll find that the days feel more expansive, as if you've put a little bit of elastic in them."

"..let's consider the more organic approach that works best for some people. instead of setting up a firm schedule, you allow yourself to flow from one task to the next, even if the tasks are widely divergent-say bookkeeping and painting."

yes yes yes! i had just such a day this weekend. had to whole day to play with my dream machine and this flow back and forth was precisely how i worked..on the computer downloading addresses, over to the studio to prep some canvas, breaking for a bit of yoga, emailing clients, catching up on kelly rae posts, recording receipts into my budget book...it was beautiful..left me feeling so connected and satisfied. hadn't once thought about the time...just floating downstream..and i got a ton done.

so this chapter is one i'll need to keep close to me as i learn to stay in the current. it's so easy and tempting to get caught in the rip tides of worry, rush, stress..but right now i'm feeling goood. so i'm going with it.

come on in...the water's fine!!!!!!!!!!!

A Day in the Life

I've promised myself to begin taking the camera for the daily rounds of life to accomplish a few things all at once: doing this will keep me a bit more aware of my day as it unfolds, to appreciate it and to be on the look out for a magical moment or token life puts in my path, like these rambling roses and lilies and luscious greens that I pass just up the road each day when I walk Niko to the bus stop.

heart rocks find me...this one waiting for me by the side of the road

more friends on the am walk

Somehow capturing them in a photo is an act that will create a memory; of the time I spent to really look at my life and what's there around me. Of taking the time to see what's there, to interact with it. When I look back on this day, the one I'm celebrating in a more deliberate way, it will be a sweet memory of belonging to the small and simple events as they unfurled themselves.

I look forward to developing a sharper eye and sense of "the shot" and playing with the medium more and I hope too it will be so wonderful that I will make this ritual one I wouldn't dream of doing without. Sharing the little moments is what brings such joy; the stories we make as we move through our lives as traveling companions with others, engaged , rooted, deepening our history and friendships along the way.

In a way I'm glad the treadmill refused to walk me anymore...it got me out of the dreary basement and into all this!