ur happy place for 2/2!

welcome to ur happy place: a refuge for body, mind and soul for 2/2!

it's good to be with you again. these wintry days really give us chance to pull in and be with ourselves, whether we like it or not, eh?

today let's finish up with the last installment of the mirror mirror story. to begin i'm sharing a couple quotes that i've found as i worked through facing the mirror. maybe you're like me, and notice how life seems to bring little bits and pieces of helpful guidance just when you need it. perhaps it's a quote, a word from a friend, or an article you come by in the newspaper. but always we are given breadcrumbs to follow as we wind our way down the path of our deep heart....

my practice has helped me to begin to see beyond what someone says or does and to try to understand their heart: everyone wants to be loved, and we try various ways to receive it.

yogi bev

be open to finding this deep part of you in others for the same wind touches many leaves.

mark nepo


making the decision to go the party, knowing how uncomfortable i'd be, set into play a whole series of events and reactions that were pretty much to be expected. from the beginning i was anticipating the difficulties: feeling anxious, not knowing what to say or how to say it, feeling lost, and out of place. not much fun. going in with that kind of mental stance, life had no choice but to mirror back to me, well..me. i've learned that the mirror of life shows us what we hold to be true about ourselves reflected back to us in the attitudes and reactions of those around us. it mirrors to us our internal belief system.

for example, at the party as the roster of guests arrived and grew larger and larger, i began to withdraw verbally, to shut down, i wanted to get smaller, invisible if possible. i remember at one point noticing that i crossed my arms across my torso, protecting my hara, my life force. moving from room to room kept me away from small circles of conversation. eating, tidying up and checking on niko kept me occupied and safe.

these behaviors do not go unnoticed. when humans congregate we interpret each others energy. we are tuning in and paying attention even if only subliminally. we register data and respond. spiritual teacher eckhart tolle often speaks of the pain body, that aspect of our psyche that is looking for the fight, seeking to keep us in turmoil and pain. it wants to keep us down and will provoke, excite or lure another's pain body out into motion to create drama to "feed on". or conversely it will convince us that we are less, or not enough and this can numb us, deject us, sadden us and paralyze us.

you can be sure that on this evening my pain body was fully alert, waiting and watching for just the right reflection to react to. as the nite wore on was it any surprise then that i wasn't enjoying myself? transmitting thoughts like, " i wish i were invisible" translates into " leave her alone" when another guest decides whether or not to approach. and even though they see me they won't want to interact, so in a way it's as if i'm not there. this is how we create our reality with our thoughts. this is how we get what we ask for. this is one way the mirror process worked for me that nite. seeing this inner reflection, seeing what i was creating -was sobering.

gaining speed on the highway of negativity is easy once we're on the road and before we know it we've set ourselves up on a collision course with other pain bodies, one ready to ambush at every turn. i've come to learn that life never gives up on us. if we are in the middle of a learning opportunity , life will continue to drive the lesson home until we have our aha moment. sometimes this takes an evening, sometimes days or years. have u ever asked urself, "why does this keep happening to me?" i'd suggest u look at the mirror, whoever he or she is.

this nite i saw the unflattering images of me as i judged the Normal People: how much it hurts to see ourselves stripped bare; it's not they who are petty, but me. they aren't the ones who are boastful, i am. all the qualities that i've judged unworthy in me are the very ones i found intolerable in the other guests this nite. see how it works? very, very efficient if u have the strength to be honest with yourself. if u have the courage to see yourself as you gaze into in the eyes of your friend, lover, child or Normal Person.

this good wisdom was lost on me that nite. i drove home ill at ease. i didn't want to feel separate, or different anymore. the quote i channeled for my own soul essence portrait drifted into my mind, "she bears a message; we must live as one world and one heart ." the truth is always inside us, isn't it? through my art, my own deep heart and soul shot up a flare to help me right my own course. the way to heal this was not going to be found by segregating myself, holding myself away or by drawing lines in the sand me vs. them, safe vs. scary.

one day this quote caught me eye:

it is more than seeing them, it is tuning in on them and allowing the current they hold to connect with one's own, like electricity. to put it differently, this means an end of living in front of things and a beginning of living with them. never mind if the word sounds shocking, for this is love.

from the book of awakening, mark nepo.

lots of tears spilled that week. they melted the walls that protected my heart. the test came when i unexpectedly ran into one of the Normal People from the party in the grocery store. would i remember life's teachings? would i see her as a catalyst to my awakening? would i see her in all her beauty, was i ready to "live with" a Normal Person?

i admit for a millisecond when i first saw her, i wondered if it was too late to duck down another isle, but then i found myself taking a deep breath and quickened my step to close the gap between us. i greeted her. we chatted a bit and parted company.

there in the salad dressing isle we were two People talking. just People. Me and Her. Us....with no anxiety, or worry or judging. i broke into a silly grin as i meandered though frozen foods, down produce and past the deli. i like to think that life was watching, smiling down on me too.

thank u for reading, and celebrating the journey of our deep hearts.

until next time...xx

ur happy place 1/19!

welcome to ur happy place: a refuge for body, mind and soul for 1/19!

today's post is the first in a series of installments that over time will tell a little story i've lived in the past few weeks. at it's heart is a tale that all of us who want to live, i mean truly live will run into at one time or another: it's mutli-layered at first glance but when reduced down to it's core it's about the choices we make and where they land us. do we embrace our vulnerability and live with our whole heart? do we risk being seen? or being heard? do we unflinchingly gaze into the mirror the universe hands us? do we love regardless? i invite u to think on these things as you read on...

"As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

as a spiritual counselor and intuitive/psychic/medium, acting as a messenger is a big part of what i do. offering insights from spirit is part one, letting the messages go is part two. i do my best not to hold onto anything that comes through me, but instead relay it and trust it will do what it needs to for my client. or not. depends on them! i'm merely the transfer station. and although most of what we talk about in private sessions floats through my mind and is forgotten soon after, i find in the past few months, i am left with lingering themes that i've been reflecting on.

one of them is the mirror. i first learned about the mirror through a trance-channel, eterna, from california that i studied with in the early nineties. the whole idea behind the mirror principle is that we are all mirrors to each other. i had a real run in with the mirror principle over the holidays that kind of sums up. the whole notion

but before i get to the mirror piece here's the backstory: one thing that u may not know about me is that i have struggled most of my adult life with social agoraphobia. i can stand up and lecture in front of a crowd with ease, work intimately in one-on-one situations, and even be videotaped and televised live, unscripted, ad -libbing with the best of them- all without blinking an eye. but invite me to a casual get together, or worse- a dinner party with "Normal People" who most often are not, "My People" as dino, my husband, refers to them, and you will watch me unravel.

My People are the ones who live lives and speak a language that oprah , ph.d's in psychology, yogi's, massage therapists, meditators, artists, and of late, alot of quantum physicists and some hip m.d.'s get. Normal People wouldn't be caught thinking, much less uttering, " i wouldn't eat there again, the energy was weird" or "if u don't like the job, create a new one!" and certainly not, " the plan will emerge, just relax."

inevitably, the party conversation turns to the dreaded "so, what do u do?" it's gotten to be something of a running joke in our house to hear how dino describes my work to a Normal Person at a Normal Person Dinner Party "oh deb? ummm... she does women's circles kind of stuff, you know holistic health..ummmm.. meditation?... oh! artist..yes she's an artist!" and tries to mumble it off without raising anyone's eyebrows, blood pressure or tripping the Normal Person's This- Is-Not- Normal-Radar-Alarm.

Mostly I fear being found out. Not only about what I do but what the voice of fear says I am: not smart enough, witty enough, nice enough, funny enough, relevant, current, worldly, not normal enough...just not enough.

so u can see the dilemma. i'm a gal who is still very much in the process of learning how to safely maneuver being strawberry shortcake in a vanilla ice cream sort of world. over the years i guess i got into a me vs. them stance after the wounds of feeling different set in. after awhile the fearful voice ran the show and i believed what it had to say. spending time with others in a purely social setting, which for most people is a time to play, laugh and enjoy the companionship of others, turned into an activity i dreaded.


i'm often asked if i've been a sensitive all my life or if maybe i was struck by lightning or had a near death experience, met jesus and came back full of the Sight or something. yes, i report back, i have been tuned in all my life, but no, mine is more a boring nature and nurture story. mona liza schulz m.d. ,ph.d and author of awakening intuition sheds some light on the nature part. in her book she suggests that you and i are literally wired for intuition and that we all have an intuitive identity that is uniquely ours. she explains," if u have a left brain, a right brain, a body, if u have memories and emotions, if u sleep and therefore dream, then u have intuition."

i would add that external factors (nurture) can contribute to or hinder our use and development of these innate skills.
for example, my abilities got a jump start in part, because i was raised in a household where i relied on my intuitive antennae 24/7. reading family members was something of a survival skill. i learned alot about energy; the energy of emotions, of good choices and poor choices, of transparent boundaries, body language and non-verbal communication and how to read between the lines. my observation skills and connection to my inner senses were natural abilities that were honed expertly, they were my go to tools back then. i used them to interpret safe or threatening situations, when to retreat to my bedroom until my mother was in a better mood, or to avoid dad if he'd had a little too much to drink. drawing from this base with a little grooming and training later in life turned into my vocation as i know it today.
but it's not easily explained to the average joe and i guess with my already sensitive nature i shy away from encounters of the Normal kind.

hence, my first instinct when invited is always to shout "NO! NO, i'm away, i'm busy, i'm tired or wait, what's the date? oh yes, i will definitely be exhausted on that day. couldn't possibly make it......"then guilt sets in, my husband needs socializing, how many times can i send him out without me? how many excuses can i make? and then after i finally say yes despite the terror, i curl up in the fetal position and wonder if maybe this time i can pull from within and somehow authentically make it through this time.

ok so i'm being just a wee bit dramatic. but this whole thing is my Achilles heel, no question and at this particular holiday party, the universe gave me an ultimatum to sort this whole mess out and get on with just being me not only with My People but the Normal People too.i got there eventually, but it didn't come easy and it wasn't pretty either.

if you've gotten this far, i applaud you! don't u agree that's enough for one post?? next week we go to the party and get knee deep into it.

until next time...xx

I Heart U

Here are a couple of recent Soul Essence Portraits I've finished. They are amazing gifts of the heart. I'm thinking they would make really special Valentines' gifts, yes?? How fun. I'd be honored to do one for you ( a wonderful act of self-love and appreciation) or for ur beloved. What a truly original way to say I Heart U.
It's always an adventure to see where "the spirit" will take me when I make one of these...if this is your first time taking a look at them here is a bit more of their back story from their debut post:

for some time now, years really, i've wanted what i can only call another kind of art to emerge. i remember finding sabriana ward harrison's book, spilling open and how i fell in love with her chaotic, brilliant, wise and stunning soul and style. she put mixed media on my soul radar and her work gave me permission to stretch and be bolder in how i approached my own art. i didn't fully see where that would lead but i knew she was a muse for my own spilling open. twelve years later i still feel her creative influence in my own unfolding.

in her company were other contemporary artists who over the years kept me steeped in this creative stew; karen michel, lynn whipple, kelly rae roberts, and too many others to name also anything medieval, byzantine, gothic, baroque. so the critical mass must have been reached this week because the doorway to this new art opened in such an unexpected way and i love that it was all about play: i prepped a few canvas boards to "just see what happens" and in that spirit i took up pencil, paint, and scraps of paper and bit of this and that and allowed.

three women emerged and they became more than unknown figures, they became representations of soul essence. i felt like angels were guiding my hand and whispering "hers needs purple and paint a heart over here." it was a beautiful, timeless and divine art session and over the course of a 24hr. period i had psychically channeled 3 soul essence portraits of me, and heather and jenn (see below). it was only thru this process that it became clear who i was creating. these are the truly magical times. when we allow ourselves to be led and opened to the way that our longings can come into being. that we welcome deeper alliances with soul and the spirit world and begin new partnerships. that we grow bold enough to say yes to something new and long wanted. to realize this is it! and now is the time! and smile and say thank you.

here's a peek of the soul essences:

and a bit more on the portraits themselves:

A Soul Essence Portrait is one of a kind mixed media likeness of the subject’s

Soul Essence. While it may in some ways resemble the human self, perhaps

with similar hair or eye color, a Soul Essence portrait is a psychically

channeled work of art and will incorporate colors, images , symbols and soul

message most fitting for the person at the time of the piece’s making. Because

of this you may opt to have pieces created over time to create a collection as a

way to celebrate the Soul’s journey over time, or have one commissioned for a

special event or passage in life: a birth, graduation, marriage, anniversary etc.

The pieces are not planned in detail but rather created in a more spontaneous

fashion. And while I can bring in elements such as a date or name I do ask the

the actual soul’s essence be allowed to guide direction of the art.

this is heather above, me. heather, jenn and me. May the spirit of love be your companion today.

until next time...xx

ur happy place 1/12!

welcome to ur happy place edition for 1/12! we're truly in the heart of the winter now. we've had our first nor'easter and snow lingers ( i wrote this ahead of the current one that's now hammering us!) on the ground. it's been cold enough for long enough to still the surface of moving waters. and yet even though the exterior layers appear frozen , it's easy to peer down beneath them to the place where a trickling flow continues. within myself i am feeling a similar movement. it's the way knowingness emerges for me. first a trickle of movement catches my eye and if i give it my attention, i often find that it has something to reveal to me.

a couple days back ken, our guest blogger and my yoga guru (a title he isn't particularly comfortable with! and i'm ok with that;), were chatting about his decision not to continue posting beyond today's edition. he shared that he took to heart what i recently wrote about a different way to begin the new year:

"why not try this?

live from within.

let your deep heart guide you naturally into the next steps of your own unique journey."

his deep heart was saying that the commitment to post twice a month was feeling more like a chore, and i get that. he's complete with the experience. he also mentioned that he felt the direction of the posts i had put up seemed to moving in a more personal direction. i love that he tried on this little prompt and it opened him to a place of awareness, acceptance and action (something he posts on below), even if it does mean that we'll miss his yoga
nuggets here.

later, back at my frozen waters, what bubbled up was that i had been resisting some deep heart guidance of my own about this blog and his clarity sparked my own. teacher, student, student teacher, taking turns, one inspiration leads to another, one truth reveals the next. ken hit a cord. yes, the direction was getting more personal, though it wasn't a preconceived act. that little trickle wanted me to flow on downstream, to get out of the way and loosen up with what i really wanted to put out here not hold onto a format i felt squeezed into.

sooooo..we're going with it!

what i've wanted to do is more storytelling; to extend a forum to share our vulnerabilities, creative joys, losses, woes, simple pleasures, all of it. and to do it in whatever way feels good. so i'm listening to this voice and just like the trickle- letting the ideas, stories and journey come as it will. i trust it and look forward to the spontaneity of it, the let's just see what happens-ness of it. doesn't it feel good to let at least a small portion of life be unplanned, without a list, a goal, except to show up and be willing? if u haven't given it a try in a while ..or ever, why not join me and try ditching the the should's and let the let's not and do this instead's step up, even if for just some tiny piece of your day.....

and to wrap up here is ken's final post...thanks ken for sharing with us - we'll miss you! om shanti...

"why not try this?

live from within.

let your deep heart guide you naturally into the next steps of your own unique journey.

it works!"

Upon reading Deb's words last week I have decided to make this my last piece for Deb's Blog.

Thanks Deb for the opportunity to share, I wish you, and your readers all the best with whatever you do.

Ken will leave you on the words of Awareness and Acceptance.

Whatever you do, however you do it, find ways to expand your awareness.

Mine is through Yoga, Meditation and Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy.

What are yours?

Then, while you practice expanding and being with your awareness, ACCEPT it for what it is.

You don't have to like it, you may wish to change it, but start with accepting it!

Be willing to be with what is happening.

All sounds easy, doesn't it?

Well, I don't think it is, so my suggestion is to trust yourself to find someone to share with.

And, then keep practicing Awareness and Acceptance.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shantih.

Peace for me, you and us all.

Ken Lidden

ABT Yoga

Explore, Experience.

Create Support for Yourself.

www.abtyoga.com

978.887.9968

till next time...xx

ur happy place 1/5! grace-full beginnings

welcome back to ur happy place: a refuge for body, mind and soul for our first 2011 edition! i don’t know about you but it feels like i’ve lived a year’s worth of experiences just in the past month:

in the joy category there were the usual holiday family and friends gatherings, lots of festivities with annual events like my all time favorite, and high light of my holiday season a christmas celtic sojurn's concert at the majestic theater in boston. after the show, we chatted with host, brian o'donovan and met chris stout, the brilliant shetland fiddler. niko, my sister-in-law, corinne, and i all made a pact after the event to take fiddle lessons together in 2011! the d'onofrio family string quartet( steve plays the acoustic 12 string guitar) can't be far away:)

dec 26th we successfully flew despite the knarly blizzard! and with only a 4 hour delay in atlanta to my mom's home in virginia. there we put some time in painting her kitchen and hallways, doors, cleaning out her basement and lending a hand in general so that she can get the house on the market and eventually move back to massachusetts. watching her and niko bond was my gift.

the wheel of life turned for us as a close friend and extended family member passed on dec 23rd after a very long and difficult encounter with cancer. as we heard her condition was advancing, i held her in my thoughts daily and put up prayers for her and her family. my wish for her is that the light of the season helped carry her to her next chapter in peace. i think about her 13 year old daughter and hold hope for her and her journey.

i've witnessed clients in sessions who are making brave and deep hearted choices for themselves and futures: wives no longer accepting marriages that are abusive, dangerous, unsatisfying, deadening and being willing to face the hard truths and plot new and more sovereign courses. parents fostering clear boundaries and communication styles with children, learning that stepping back and seeing their kids as adept and powerful beats smothering, meddling, and over compensating-that worrying compulsively erodes both the parent's and child's sense of well-being.

Others for the first time are saying "i deserve to be at the top of my list" and "what i want counts too". they are re-inventing their lives and re-connecting to who they truly are. they're peeling back layers of cultural programming, self-denial, family history, molds and confining patterns. more than one confessed that they visit me despite outside skepticism( ur going to see a what?? a psychic? a spiritual counselor, oh i don't believe in that stuff!) because what they get in session brings them back home to themselves and creates a bridge to a freer, more meaningful way of living.

in all of this, i am reminded that our lives are more than we might think they are - that there is a great mystery at play, and it is woven through all the things we experience - showing itself in the joys of good music, the quiet moments alone, the crazy exhilarating over the top thrills, in the moment to moment choices we make to stay or leave, to grow or stagnate, in the heart ache of losing the physical presence of someone we love. on any given day we rise, never knowing for certain what the day will bring, but nonetheless we move across another page of our lives, co-authors with this magnificent force, that lives in us and with us. i think of it more and more as simply- grace.

may 2011 be a year of remembering that we are grace-filled, grace-fed and for that may we be grate-full. here's to your new chapter of life. i'll see you on the pages!



grace-full opportunities:

what's a new year if not a time to stretch our wings, wonder what's over the mountain, challenge ourselves and risk being a fool? in addition to hosting counseling sessions and groups, and seeing what art for your heart wants to do with itself! this year i'd like to offer more chances to play, make art together, maybe do some ritual, and create some space for u to explore in interesting and creative ways. i'd like to collaborate with other healers, seers, and artists in unique and exciting ventures. and i'd like to hold space for the unfolding of some writing and video projects that have been patiently waiting for me as i take a deep breath and learn..more... technology! whooppeee!!!!!
remembrance day with me and jessica marrocco
remembrance day me and gerri shanti desimone

you'll see some of these ideas taking shape with a collaboration that started in december 2010 with jessica marrocco and gerri shanti desimonfocus is new beginnings- "welcome in the New Year through Clearing, Closure and Confidence. Clear all old energy that is disharmonious with your dreams, find closure with old hurts and experience a new found confidence in your self." stay posted-date tbd.

and i'm hosting a new collage vision board and ritual gathering. a letting go\invitation ritual, followed by visioning and collaging onto your own imagery board. indulge in a creative and powerful practice and leave with a stunning momento that you've created to inspire you the whole year long! see one i made here.

choose either fri. 1/28 6:30-8:30 or sat. 1/29 2-4:o0pm $30 includes all.

much much more to follow...!



ur happy day haiku:

the new, the old -one

and the same- breathing, living,

grace holding our hand.


until next time....xx