ur happy place for 2/2!

welcome to ur happy place: a refuge for body, mind and soul for 2/2!

it's good to be with you again. these wintry days really give us chance to pull in and be with ourselves, whether we like it or not, eh?

today let's finish up with the last installment of the mirror mirror story. to begin i'm sharing a couple quotes that i've found as i worked through facing the mirror. maybe you're like me, and notice how life seems to bring little bits and pieces of helpful guidance just when you need it. perhaps it's a quote, a word from a friend, or an article you come by in the newspaper. but always we are given breadcrumbs to follow as we wind our way down the path of our deep heart....

my practice has helped me to begin to see beyond what someone says or does and to try to understand their heart: everyone wants to be loved, and we try various ways to receive it.

yogi bev

be open to finding this deep part of you in others for the same wind touches many leaves.

mark nepo


making the decision to go the party, knowing how uncomfortable i'd be, set into play a whole series of events and reactions that were pretty much to be expected. from the beginning i was anticipating the difficulties: feeling anxious, not knowing what to say or how to say it, feeling lost, and out of place. not much fun. going in with that kind of mental stance, life had no choice but to mirror back to me, well..me. i've learned that the mirror of life shows us what we hold to be true about ourselves reflected back to us in the attitudes and reactions of those around us. it mirrors to us our internal belief system.

for example, at the party as the roster of guests arrived and grew larger and larger, i began to withdraw verbally, to shut down, i wanted to get smaller, invisible if possible. i remember at one point noticing that i crossed my arms across my torso, protecting my hara, my life force. moving from room to room kept me away from small circles of conversation. eating, tidying up and checking on niko kept me occupied and safe.

these behaviors do not go unnoticed. when humans congregate we interpret each others energy. we are tuning in and paying attention even if only subliminally. we register data and respond. spiritual teacher eckhart tolle often speaks of the pain body, that aspect of our psyche that is looking for the fight, seeking to keep us in turmoil and pain. it wants to keep us down and will provoke, excite or lure another's pain body out into motion to create drama to "feed on". or conversely it will convince us that we are less, or not enough and this can numb us, deject us, sadden us and paralyze us.

you can be sure that on this evening my pain body was fully alert, waiting and watching for just the right reflection to react to. as the nite wore on was it any surprise then that i wasn't enjoying myself? transmitting thoughts like, " i wish i were invisible" translates into " leave her alone" when another guest decides whether or not to approach. and even though they see me they won't want to interact, so in a way it's as if i'm not there. this is how we create our reality with our thoughts. this is how we get what we ask for. this is one way the mirror process worked for me that nite. seeing this inner reflection, seeing what i was creating -was sobering.

gaining speed on the highway of negativity is easy once we're on the road and before we know it we've set ourselves up on a collision course with other pain bodies, one ready to ambush at every turn. i've come to learn that life never gives up on us. if we are in the middle of a learning opportunity , life will continue to drive the lesson home until we have our aha moment. sometimes this takes an evening, sometimes days or years. have u ever asked urself, "why does this keep happening to me?" i'd suggest u look at the mirror, whoever he or she is.

this nite i saw the unflattering images of me as i judged the Normal People: how much it hurts to see ourselves stripped bare; it's not they who are petty, but me. they aren't the ones who are boastful, i am. all the qualities that i've judged unworthy in me are the very ones i found intolerable in the other guests this nite. see how it works? very, very efficient if u have the strength to be honest with yourself. if u have the courage to see yourself as you gaze into in the eyes of your friend, lover, child or Normal Person.

this good wisdom was lost on me that nite. i drove home ill at ease. i didn't want to feel separate, or different anymore. the quote i channeled for my own soul essence portrait drifted into my mind, "she bears a message; we must live as one world and one heart ." the truth is always inside us, isn't it? through my art, my own deep heart and soul shot up a flare to help me right my own course. the way to heal this was not going to be found by segregating myself, holding myself away or by drawing lines in the sand me vs. them, safe vs. scary.

one day this quote caught me eye:

it is more than seeing them, it is tuning in on them and allowing the current they hold to connect with one's own, like electricity. to put it differently, this means an end of living in front of things and a beginning of living with them. never mind if the word sounds shocking, for this is love.

from the book of awakening, mark nepo.

lots of tears spilled that week. they melted the walls that protected my heart. the test came when i unexpectedly ran into one of the Normal People from the party in the grocery store. would i remember life's teachings? would i see her as a catalyst to my awakening? would i see her in all her beauty, was i ready to "live with" a Normal Person?

i admit for a millisecond when i first saw her, i wondered if it was too late to duck down another isle, but then i found myself taking a deep breath and quickened my step to close the gap between us. i greeted her. we chatted a bit and parted company.

there in the salad dressing isle we were two People talking. just People. Me and Her. Us....with no anxiety, or worry or judging. i broke into a silly grin as i meandered though frozen foods, down produce and past the deli. i like to think that life was watching, smiling down on me too.

thank u for reading, and celebrating the journey of our deep hearts.

until next time...xx